Now, I'm not trying to start a kung-fu death match with Stephanie Meyer or her legions of brain washed infidels. I'm just simply stating what I don't like about everything she stands for. Sure, Twilight has ensued thousands, maybe even millions of people to follow her and carry out her every whim. But lets face it. Twilight is probably one of the least logical books there is out there. I know half you fan girls that are reading this are probably ready to rip out my throat. And the other half couldn't give a shit. So I'm just going to get to the point.
And this is my reasoning:
1. Twilight has completely changed the way people think of vampires. According to the books vampires are fun loving, playful, blood-thirsty little scamps that sparkle in the sunlight. Then there is the fact that they are rock hard (that's what she said...), resistant to sunlight, and can move with unimaginable speed. I personally don't mind they whole eye color changing deal but it is still kinda dumb. All these things that are listed above are not compliant to the traditional vampire. And it pisses me off. Its not the fact that there could be this kind of vampire or that there is more than one kind, its that every teenage girl in America is convinced that that is the only vampire and the thousands of year old stories are all wrong. Vampires can't be any of these or we would all be screwed.
They treat this like Stephanie Meyer is a prophet to the vampire world, for they are beautiful misunderstood creatures. Stephanie Meyer needs to learn that vampires are evil and were imagined to SCARE people, not to love them. (I could keep going but it is getting redundant.)
2. The lack of character depth. Sure we all know that Edward doesn't want to turn Bella into a vampire because he wants her to go to heaven. But that is really all we know. Who is to say that there is more to him than his love to Bella? He truly is one boring character. Sure he may have the body of a god but there is nothing more to him then his looks and his distinct scent. Bella is no better. It seems to me that all her intentions are devoted to Edward and how madly in love they are. For me it almost feels like I'm gliding through the book watching the scenes and not feeling what the characters motives are. The lack of understanding sets me apart from these books. What happened to intimacy that you can feel for a character like in books like "The Diary of Ann Frank"?
3. The way that the book reaches to every teenage girls hopes and aspirations. Sure, women want to find a man that only wants her and can only love her. Will love her forever, marry her, have a "perfect" child, and live happily ever after. But it will never happen. I take that back. The chances of finding that at the age of 17 are worse than winning the lottery. I hate the way it is such a fairytale ending. Always ending with love and no conflict. We all know that that is true reality but why can't we accept it. I can. The world is not a perfect place, so why do we try and mask it with books like Twilight? I think we could do with a dose of reality in our everyday life. Now if Twilight could bring this concept into the story it probably would be a more enticing book that would make it easier for the reader to relate with.
Face it ladies, you will never find a man that won't disappoint you.
4. The worship that the Twilight books get. Every girl treats the book like a Bible of Trinity. I'm mean 'geez'. Its only a book. (I don't think I have to say anymore than that.)
5. I despise the way that it carries into everyday life. Every teenage girl that is infatuated with their boyfriend is convinced that they are their "personal Edward". I HATE IT. I'm ready to yell back, "Well, by using your Twilight logic, that would make you my personal Jane. You are spiteful, annoying, childish, and a pain in my fucking neck." And just walk away...
Now I could go on longer but I feel that this is enough to be said for now. To all you fan girls that are telling themselves that I don't know what I'm talking about, I have read the all of the books. I can't deny that they were entertaining at the moment, but there are enough reasons not to like it in retrospect. So to you all, I will leave the rest of the processing to your recently unveiled minds.
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Sunday, July 26, 2009
The Most Intimate Part of the Human Body
I'm sure that this entries title is enough to get you thinking nasty thoughts. But contrary to what you believe, its not about quite what your thinking.
First I want you to think of your most intimate part of the body. Now let me tell you why your most likely wrong.
If you were thinking the gender-defining features, you were wrong. First of all, what is the one thing that everyone has but eventually loses and can never retain? Virginity. And Your never going to get that back. I would have also accepted 'innocence'. Now the reasons why. SEX. And you know it. Plus, if you never do it, you do it to yourself. Everyday I would have to say at least one eighth (if not more) of the single female population impales themselves with objects for their own pleasure. Whether it be a specialized plastic contraption to the various lengthy vegetables in the refrigerator. And at least over half of the male population does sometime during the day. But that really isn't all the shocking now is it? There are also the tormenting visits for a physical or gynecologist check-ups.
Then there is the mouth. NOPE. People are constantly shoving things into their gabs. Food, fingers, unidentifiable objects, tongues of others, dental equipment, and the phallic regions of the male anatomy. Then there is the sticking of tongues into places. Including oral sex. And my favorite use, to be used as a childish insult from a distance. The tongue is not private in the least bit.
Anus. Nope. Face it, at some point in your life you will get sodomized. It may be from intercourse or just a prostate exam, but it will happen.
Breasts? Nope. Mammary exams for cancer.
Arms, legs, hands, and feet are out of the question.
Eyes? Laser eye surgery and contacts.
Ears? Ear plugs and cue tips.
Nose? *DING* That's right. The nose. Some of you may be denying yourself of the truth at the moment, but its true. Not just the nose though, more specifically the inside of the nose. Only you go there, if ever. Think. When you are a kid is the most time you will ever spend exploring the inside of you nose. You almost never stick anything in there. They way people clean their noses is with a blow, not a probe. The doctor only looks, never goes in on an exam.
If you go up to anyone and stick your finger in their nose, they will flip out. You probably would too. That is why it is probably the most intimate part. Am I not right? Of course results may very from person to person. Internal organs are excluded from this truth. So next time ask yourself, when is the last time you stuck your finger in your nose?
"You can pick your fiends, and you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friends nose."
~Anonymous
First I want you to think of your most intimate part of the body. Now let me tell you why your most likely wrong.
If you were thinking the gender-defining features, you were wrong. First of all, what is the one thing that everyone has but eventually loses and can never retain? Virginity. And Your never going to get that back. I would have also accepted 'innocence'. Now the reasons why. SEX. And you know it. Plus, if you never do it, you do it to yourself. Everyday I would have to say at least one eighth (if not more) of the single female population impales themselves with objects for their own pleasure. Whether it be a specialized plastic contraption to the various lengthy vegetables in the refrigerator. And at least over half of the male population does sometime during the day. But that really isn't all the shocking now is it? There are also the tormenting visits for a physical or gynecologist check-ups.
Then there is the mouth. NOPE. People are constantly shoving things into their gabs. Food, fingers, unidentifiable objects, tongues of others, dental equipment, and the phallic regions of the male anatomy. Then there is the sticking of tongues into places. Including oral sex. And my favorite use, to be used as a childish insult from a distance. The tongue is not private in the least bit.
Anus. Nope. Face it, at some point in your life you will get sodomized. It may be from intercourse or just a prostate exam, but it will happen.
Breasts? Nope. Mammary exams for cancer.
Arms, legs, hands, and feet are out of the question.
Eyes? Laser eye surgery and contacts.
Ears? Ear plugs and cue tips.
Nose? *DING* That's right. The nose. Some of you may be denying yourself of the truth at the moment, but its true. Not just the nose though, more specifically the inside of the nose. Only you go there, if ever. Think. When you are a kid is the most time you will ever spend exploring the inside of you nose. You almost never stick anything in there. They way people clean their noses is with a blow, not a probe. The doctor only looks, never goes in on an exam.
If you go up to anyone and stick your finger in their nose, they will flip out. You probably would too. That is why it is probably the most intimate part. Am I not right? Of course results may very from person to person. Internal organs are excluded from this truth. So next time ask yourself, when is the last time you stuck your finger in your nose?
"You can pick your fiends, and you can pick your nose. But you can't pick your friends nose."
~Anonymous
Monday, July 13, 2009
Where is the whole truth?
Things are just getting so confusing... Ugh. I don't know where things went. I'm just starting to feel so anxious. Things are just happening so fast. Okay now from the begining:
Me and my friend, Tori, had the idea of spending an afternoon with our friend Ali. All was setup for the most part then when things are about to be set into motion Ali doesn't show up things start getting hectic. We spend about and hour and a half trying to contact her but no luck. Then we decide to call things off. I was going to go home and write a very angry email to her, but never really got around to that. So around 10:30 Tori tells me to look at a journal posting that Ali put up. I look. Of course she takes it down before I get a chance to read it. Lucky me. Then Tori attempts to explain over the phone but things don't make a clear scenario. So now I'm sitting here regretting ever thinking of sending her an email and not sure what is going on. Communication skill = Zero.
It all had something to do with her boyfriend trying to convert her or something but I'm so clueless about the entire thing. I don't want to get mad at anyone without the whole truth (some women don't understand this concept from my years of intuitive observation).
Sigh...
Me and my friend, Tori, had the idea of spending an afternoon with our friend Ali. All was setup for the most part then when things are about to be set into motion Ali doesn't show up things start getting hectic. We spend about and hour and a half trying to contact her but no luck. Then we decide to call things off. I was going to go home and write a very angry email to her, but never really got around to that. So around 10:30 Tori tells me to look at a journal posting that Ali put up. I look. Of course she takes it down before I get a chance to read it. Lucky me. Then Tori attempts to explain over the phone but things don't make a clear scenario. So now I'm sitting here regretting ever thinking of sending her an email and not sure what is going on. Communication skill = Zero.
It all had something to do with her boyfriend trying to convert her or something but I'm so clueless about the entire thing. I don't want to get mad at anyone without the whole truth (some women don't understand this concept from my years of intuitive observation).
Sigh...
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